My store was closed, today. Straight up closed for the day. I haven’t had a true snow day since my year at MassArt in 2003; Boston pretty much shuts down in a blizzard. While I attended UVM, we had one big blizzard, and I still had to go to both classes I had that day. Vermont is tough (in this case, my home state is not getting hit nearly as hard as we are here on the seacoast).
It’s such a strange feeling to be an adult with a spare day (a Saturday, no less) free from all responsibility. I went down to the porch to retrieve the letters I had outgoing, and the little boy from downstairs was bundled up and sporting a look of pure joy on his face as he plowed through me to run inside. The snow has heaped up on the porch. He made me wish I had snow pants and my waterproof mittens.
Instead of playing outside, I am taking advantage of this stress-free weekend to once-again jump start my healthy eating routine. My biggest problem in the winter is not drinking enough water. Proper hydration keeps me in line. I’ve downloaded Water Your Body, which I really like using. I definitely recommend it to anyone who has a hard time with hydration.
The rest of the details are a bit touch-and-go. I have really healthy days, and I have really terrible days. It’s taken me years to recognize actual, physical hunger. It’s still a struggle. With National Eating Disorders Awareness Week coming up, I guess I feel like I have something to prove. Health is possible. It totally is. But the reality is, I still have to make a really huge effort on a daily basis to properly nourish myself. I am constantly thinking about it, but I know I’m happiest when I’m not.
I do think I’m starting to be a bit more realistic. I want to be strong, I want to be healthy, and I want to be happy. I want to be comfortable in my own body. It’s strange, but I’ve never really wanted any of those things quite so much as I do now. I think there was always a little part of my brain that wanted to be weak and sad and fragile. I’ve struggled with that for a long, long time.
Lately, though, I’ve been feeling better than that. And, while I am looking forward to warm weather, this winter doesn’t have me down.